Attack of the Killer ANTs

Attack of the Killer ANTs!

You've heard about or have experienced ants ruining a picnic, right? And maybe you've even seen a program on TV or read about fiery red ants in the Amazon devouring livestock or even people!

But did you know that there is a species of killer ants that actually reside in people and destroys them from the inside out?! They're called Automatic Negative Thoughts. Aaron Beck, the developer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, originally coined the term ANTs.

Just as there are more ants than any other type of insect in the world, there are more ANTs than any other type of thought in the world. And given the chance ANTs will infest and ruin anything.

The "species" of ANTs include (but are not limited to) mind-reading, black-or-white thinking, and fortune telling. Can you think of any other species?

Mind-reading, claiming to know someone’s internal state, is a distortion of reality. As I always say, “the blueprint is not the building”. When you mind-read it’s usually nothing good. “I know she doesn’t like me. I can tell by the look on her face.” Oh yeah? HOW do you know for sure? Is it possible that the look on her face means something else?

Black-or white thinking…well those ANTs are very common. “If I don’t pass this exam then I am a failure.” Or “Fine! If you don’t like my pasta then I won’t cook anything at all.” And of course the famous “If you don’t like my rules, get out!”

Fortune telling might be some of the most vicious ANTs you’ll ever encounter. “Why should I even bother? It’s never going to work.” And the proverbial “I know that this is going to suck.”

Now, normally this is where you get the latest, greatest you’ve-gotta-be-a-positive-thinker speech, but not today. Today you’re reading about the benefits and positive intentions behind negative thoughts. When placed in the proper context and used correctly, believe it or not, ANTs can be useful.

By the way, there is a major problem with trying to think positive ALL the time- it’s not possible.

Trying to be a positive thinker 24/7 creates more ANTs. Imagine that you’ve been telling yourself all day long “Think positive, think positive.” As soon as you catch yourself thinking something negative what comes to mind? Something along the lines of- “C’mon dummy. You know better than that. You’re supposed to be thinking positive. You’re never going to get anything thinking like this.”

Stop! When people unrealistically try to be positive thinkers 24/7 they just end up creating ANTs about their ANTs. Think about that. (In Neuro-Linguistic Programming L. Michael Hall calls this a meta-state. In psychology this is known as metacognition and metamood.)

King Solomon said, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” therefore in the majority of situations I am an optimist. I think positive MOST of the time, but as a neurolinguist I’ve learned to recognize the usefulness of ANTs instead of beating myself up about them like I used to.

ANTs have positive intentions and benefits, also known as secondary gains. Secondary gains are what you end up with after the thought. However, as the old saying goes, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

Ants have positive intentions when they are gathering food or defending the queen or colony, but they can leave a wake of destruction behind them. Your ANTs can do the same when you’re gathering information or when you perceive that you character, values, and/or beliefs are threatened.

For instance a person may have a good idea but think to his or herself “I know this is never going to work.” (Fortune telling) The positive intention behind this thought is the avoidance of pain. The secondary gain could be a number of things depending on the person’s values. Less responsibility or less risk taking are possible secondary gains. Can you think of any more?

Although this thought began with positive intentions and provided some benefits, it’s the outcome that’s unfortunate. Often the person’s dreams and aspirations are left in the wake of destruction.

If this person understood positive intentions and secondary gains they could re-frame this thought. They could ask-

1.How can making this idea work help me to avoid pain?

2.How do I know this isn’t going to work?

3.Is there a context in which it would work? If so, how can I create that context?

4.What could I gain by taking on more responsibility? How do I know when it’s okay to take on more responsibility?

5.What could I gain by taking a risk? How do I know when it’s okay to take a risk?

I once had a bad attitude with this guy because he had his arms crossed and he was standing sideways the whole time we were talking. We were at a networking event. I was just getting started with a direct sales company so of course I was spending waaaaay too much time talking about myself and the service that my company provided.

A few days prior to meeting this man I had read a very bad book on body language. The book stated that when someone has their arms crossed they are acting resistant or defensive. So as I stood there talking to this guy the ANTs came marching one by one.

I thought to myself, “ I wonder what this guy’s problem is…” (Mind-reading) “…or maybe it’s me…is something wrong with me? Nah, this guy’s probably just a jerk…” (Black-or-white thinking) “…it would probably be terrible doing business with him anyway!” (Fortune telling) “But… it could be me, couldn’t it? No way. There’s nothing wrong with me. It’s him.” (Black-or-white thinking)

Soon there were so many ANTs running around in my head I couldn’t take it. I blurted out, “I’m getting this weird vibe, man. Like… there’s some kind of tension between us.”

With a confused look on his face and his arms still crossed the guy responded, “What? What do you mean? What gives you that impression?”

“Well…it’s just that…you’ve got your arms crossed as if you’re not open to what I have to say.”

Immediately he burst into laughter. In between laughs he said, “ I ate a burger for lunch and I got ketchup all over me. I was trying to cover up the stain so that no one would think I was a total slob.”

Then I started having ANTs about my ANTs. “Boy, are you an idiot!” (Confusing behavior with identity) “See, that’s what you get for making assumptions…who’s the jerk now, huh?” (Non-constructive criticism)

So, what were the positive intentions in this story? How about the secondary gains? Did the guy I was talking to have any ANTs? (Hint: What could he have been thinking when he was covering up the stain?) What could we both have done better?

If you take a few minutes to answer these types of questions when you experience ANTs instead of letting them run around in your head all willy-nilly, you can manage and make the best use of them. Remember they’re just protecting the queen…or king!

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Al Duncan—The Millennial Mentor™—is a World-Class Motivational Speaker, an author, and a renowned Youth Speaker. Visit him online at www.alduncan.net